I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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