Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
