and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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