I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
