you turned your livingroom into a bong?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
