My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
