Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
