You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
