I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i believe in u and ur pee
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
