Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
