were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
