I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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