I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize