bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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