I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
