$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
