i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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