Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
