We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
