did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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