I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize