think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
