im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
