the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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