Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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