I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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