rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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