He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
