She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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