i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
