I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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