Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just high enough for therapy.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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