I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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