What a fucking waste of an outfit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
