I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
