He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
