Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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