that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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