Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
