I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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