There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
