everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
