Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
