so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
