there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
