oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
