So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
