margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
