you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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