I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
