Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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