we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
