Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize