make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize