Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
