i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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