make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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