People in love make me want to vomit
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize