You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
