You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
