If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
